While I was ruminating on this topic, an incidence that took place some years back came to mind. A person I considered a dear friend spread lies about me which hurt me. So, I decided to cut her off. I chose not to be confrontational about it but opted for total avoidance instead. Out of sight, out of mind! I was convinced that it was the right path to take because I knew that seeing her would bring flooding back the memory of her betrayal. Was that the correct decision to take? In hindsight, I think not.
A discussion with a friend some time ago opened my eyes to the understanding that I may have equally wronged other people consciously or unconsciously. Since no one is perfect, we shouldn’t expect perfection. We hurt ourselves more when we do not forgive, creating a ripple effect that causes negative emotions like anger, envy, and hatred amongst others to create a home in us.
Years after this, I guess I am still on the path to achieving complete forgiveness. Forgiveness never told me how difficult it would be to attain its height; telling you that it comes easy would be a bald-faced lie. However, knowing that I forgive for my peace makes it significantly easier. The simple truth is that complete forgiveness is a choice; one that no one can make for you. The ultimate destination after going through the myriads of emotions hurt causes is either true forgiveness or hatred. If you choose to truly forgive, understand that sometimes you may have to be the fool for the sake of peace.
This is not a post on ten sure-fire ways to truly forgive or perfect rules to forgiveness; there aren’t any steps peculiar to one person or situation. You either choose to forgive or not to with no in-betweens. You do not get to stand on the fence and call it forgiveness. When you have peace and positive thoughts in your heart for the person who wronged you, then you’d know you have attained the height of complete forgiveness. This doesn’t come easy and sometimes, I have to resort to praying so I can move past the hurt and forgive.
Now it is important to note that complete forgiveness does not mean that you should repeatedly put yourself in a position of hurt. It means you wish the person well from the bottom of your heart while giving the person the chance to work hard to re-earn your trust. You can increase the stakes if you so desire. And be prepared to work as hard when you hurt others too in order to obtain their forgiveness.
What is your own take on this? Kindly share this in the comment section. To comment on this, kindly type “admin” as both username and password if the prompt requests for that. I would love to see your comments.
Love,
Diane
