Dear God,
I listened to a song today which flicked on a switch in my head. An epiphany! And so this diary session with you is inspired by a song by Jordan Felix titled “Never Too Far Gone”.
Father, I remember the feelings of guilt I would be assailed with whenever I sinned. It would be so intense that praying to you became extremely difficult. So, I would work myself deeper into a dark hole I created because I felt it’d be so much easier to remain there than face your wrath. And the farther away from you I went, the more I convinced myself that there would be no hope, no room for reconciliation.
Now I know that no matter what I’ve done, I’m never too far gone. You’re still there, waiting for me to come back to you. I guess the principles of men do not apply to you; we can hide from men when we offend them. I cannot hide from you because there is no distance you cannot reach. And so, now I understand better that we are never too far gone to be saved no matter the offenses committed.
I want to scream it out and tell the world that your mercy covers all sins. For people who have committed atrocities and feel they deserve mansions in hell. For those who feel they are in too deep already with no coming back from destructive paths that have led them to the edge of the cliff. For those who feel there is no way out of the dark hole. For those who experience guilt whenever they pick up their bible and want to pray. For those who have lost their way back home. God, they need to understand that no one is too useless to be used by you to achieve your divine purpose. That there is no place so dark that you cannot shine a light in to find them. That they can never outrun your love for them.
How then do I let them know this? Can you tell me?
Sometimes, I wonder why you used Gideon the insecure, Jacob the cheat, Saul the murderer, Rahab the prostitute, Martha the worrier, Jonah the runaway, Thomas the doubter, Miriam the gossip, and Peter who denied You?! I can go on and on. Weren’t there more righteous people you could have used? But then I realize that your ways are not what my human mind can fathom; you qualify those who are not perfect.
Lord, I understand now that redemption is only a step away. We only need to come to your ever-open arms and completely forgive the hurt that has been caused to us by people we trusted. All we need to do is to accept you wholly and fully.
Finally, I know you will never say to a contrite heart “you made your bed and you must lie on it”. Despite the doubts and fears that plague me, I know that life is so much easier when you are in my corner. I am worthy of the scars of love you bore for my salvation. I remind myself of this when the doubts and fears come with all their might. More importantly, I am never too far lost to be saved! And for this, I have the strength to face whatever tomorrow may bring.
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Love,
Diane
