I had a friend growing up. She was super intelligent, and it was not shocking to see the many accolades she received for her outstanding performances. However, it was shocking to know that she only got those accolades outside! Whenever Bee brought her awards back home, all she got was nonchalance from her parents. And each time that happened, her spirit dropped lower and lower. After a while, she stopped sharing her accomplishments with her parents.
My mother, especially, would dance around and celebrate her win, whenever she followed me home from school before going to her home, a short distance from mine. And she would whisper to me about how lucky I was!
I remember being pissed off at this. I wanted to scream at her parents and ask what would it take them to say “nice job” or “wow, I’m proud of you!” But I knew the answer. The truth was that it would take them absolutely nothing to show genuine enthusiasm, which would result in so much for my friend.
“Why am I bringing this sad tale up?” you may wonder! Well, do not wait for someone else to pat you on the back. Do it yourself! From my friend’s experiences, I understood that we spend so much time looking to others for validation and get disappointed when they are not forthcoming.
Of course, she deserved her accolades, and I agree that we need support systems to help us get through the difficult days ahead, but if none is forthcoming, you should not wait for a squad. You can be your cheerleader! I mean, what if you do not have supportive people around you?
Giving yourself a pep talk now and then may sound like a cliché, but it isn’t. It may look silly, but in time, you will discover how much influence it has on your self-esteem.
A video I watched on YouTube some months ago comes to mind here. It was about an adorable little girl, Jessica saying words of affirmation about herself and her life passionately while standing in front of a mirror. I remember smiling all through and praying silently that she never loses that spirit. To some, it might seem silly, but I fell in love with her positivity because it was highly infectious. If you haven’t seen it, search for Jessica’s video on YouTube and watch it already!
Seek out others who have succeeded before you in your field. I don’t mean obsessing over their net worth and how everything sucks for you while it is working for them. On the contrary, read about their struggles and know that if they can surmount them, you can too. Their success story can be a motivating factor for you.
Connect with like-minded people who are driven and are ready to carry you along. And guess what? Technology makes it easier to do this. There are many support groups and online communities that can offer materials and give support on several topics. Reading up these materials can help you get motivated.
Celebrate every milestone you accomplish; they should not go unnoticed by you, even if other people do not recognise or acknowledge them. Heck, you can take it a step further and reward yourself with a treat!
Doing your cheerleading should not translate into bragging and believing you are on another level to others. I always say no one is better than another. Instead, it is a deep appreciation for who we are and acknowledging the things that are going well for us while dealing with our challenges positively.
So, stop waiting around for a cheer squad if you don’t have one. Become your cheerleader moving forward and most importantly, continue creating reasons to cheer for.
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Love,
Diane
