I read an article on the online platform, Elite Daily which when loosely summarised said, “Your dating standards get lower as you get older, according to science.”
Last week, I had a discussion with my friend, Bee, about this, and we both held similar views. She added that it wasn’t just the opinions of science but society as well. The truth is that society expects women to simply settle for just about anyone that comes around for something serious because we may never find what fits our specifications if we wait. Well, I think that society and science should have another rethink. Let me explain.
I’ve read books on relationships where ladies from a certain age are shown to have reduced expectations. While there may be a significant decline in the number of men coming your way as you grow older, I’m strongly of the opinion that ladies shouldn’t simply “settle” because society says so. I’d pick being happily single any day to being unhappily married.
Lowering your standards and accepting whatever comes your way will never be the best option. And there are tons of cases to prove this premise right.
When you settle, you more likely than not end up wallowing in regrets and wishing for something more. Is that the kind of life you want to be stuck in? There should be mutual respect in the relationship, and I don’t think settling is fair to the other party.
Be that as it may, it is imperative to note that standards should be reasonable. I saw a checklist a colleague of mine drew up of her “ideal guy” and I can say for a fact that she was building castles on the sky.
While it is important not to lower your bar, you should not expect absolute perfection in any man. A perfect person does not exist.
Standards are healthy qualities that are non-negotiable.
Now, your potential partner may not tick every item on your list, but they should uphold fundamental values that are important to you. I believe standards should act as a filter where only those that are worth the effort should be allowed in.
Of course, your standards may not align with those of everyone else, but you will be respected because you have them. Your age withstanding, don’t you dare lower your standards! If someone wants you in their life, he should be ready to jump up to meet them. This means being ready and willing to work to be deserving of being in your life because he knows that you are worth every minute of the effort put in.
Being single is not a crime, and staying one certainly isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. You deserve the best for you, someone who can meet your standards and is willing to treat you right.
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Love,
Diane
