Dear Worrier,
You are me and I am you. This means I understand, but it doesn’t excuse our actions or make them right. It can be so easy to panic when everyday challenges make it feel like the weight of the world rests on our shoulders. And once we go down that route, it can be difficult to navigate our way out of Worry-Ville. But we have to try, regardless.
Learn to breathe. If we are honest with ourselves, we will realize that we even worry about things that haven’t happened yet. And obsess about the most trivial things. Take a pause and quiet the negative thoughts swimming through your head.
Remember to breathe and understand that whatever you are going through is a phase, never permanent. Sometimes, all we need to do is trust, let go and see what happens. The passage of time itself is a solution for a lot of issues. And sometimes, life just finds ways to surprise you positively.
Understand what can be solved and what cannot. Worrying about something makes you aware but dining, and wining in that worry rarely leads to meaningful and useful solutions.
Recently, I had a conversation with someone and I got a glimpse into the struggles he faced. The truth is that while his problem was gargantuan, it involved forces beyond his control. Yet, he placed it in the category of problems he could solve. Hence, the never-ending worry cycle.
If we are dealing with issues that realistically can be solved, then we should go brainstorming for solutions. If on the other hand, it can’t be solved by our efforts, we must find ways to accept, deal, and adapt, instead of developing unhealthy obsessions over them.
Have a support system. I can’t stress how important this is. You may want to Mr/Mrs/Ms. Independent your way out of everything but we are social creatures. Don’t forget that. Sometimes, a shoulder to lean on or a person to talk to can do wonders.
You don’t necessarily need a large network of friends. But if you have a few persons that you can trust to be there for you, it is a major win in my books. And if you don’t have any, it is never too late to build your social capital.
2020 has definitely given most of us a lot to think about and we have been in survival mode, simply hoping to get through it unscathed. As it draws to an end soon, do we really want to carry over excessive worrying into the new year?
Just like Rob Liano said, paraphrased and infused with some additional words: the best way to lighten your mood is to lift the weight of the world off your shoulders and simply bask in the joy of being alive.
I’ll end with this inspirational quote from O.R. Melling, “When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe two things: there will be ground to stand. Or you will grow wings to fly.”
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Love,
Diane.
