“Are you okay?”
Three words that we can all relate to. We’ve each been asked this question many times, and usually, our responses are the same.
“I am fine.”
“I am okay.”
Or something else just as stoic, lacking depth. Because we know all too well what being vulnerable to the wrong people can do to us.
And so we keep mum, hope, and fervently pray that we can get through the day in better spirits than we started it.
Sometimes though, we let that side show to a select few who we hope would treat our vulnerabilities as precious as we hold them.
Most of us have ended up coming out on top of painful experiences that we were sure would overwhelm us. But then, isn’t this the unpredictability that is to be expected from life – situations that are sometimes inexplicable no matter how hard we try?
How a ‘friend’ can turn their back on you without giving you the benefit of doubt
How your reputation can be tarnished in a twinkle of an eye through half-baked truths
How a trusted partner who was once a haven can become the one that instills fear in you
I can go on and on. We’ve been through different versions of these situations.
Sometimes, I try to pause and just be. Not thinking. Not worrying. Not doing anything. Just taking a relaxing trip into my head without the company of heavy thoughts and looming obstacles. I wonder if I am in over my head to think that the thoughts wouldn’t break out of my self-imposed mental barricade.
Maybe, I am. Maybe not.
One thing is for sure: time will reveal all truths and heal most, if not all, wounds.
But in the meantime, why don’t we try to take it one day at a time? Why don’t we try to live in the present and create new moments that will bring smiles to our faces on days when we cannot feel the sun shining?
I know for a fact that no condition will remain permanent, and eventually, things will start to look up. You will find a circle that makes you feel wanted and creates a safe space for you to be your authentic self. You will genuinely smile, and then laugh out loud… the kind that brings happy tears to your eyes.
However, before you get to this stage, you can try to place one foot after the other. Take one step at a time. Find the strength to get out of bed, even on days when you don’t feel like doing this life thing. Cheer yourself even if you are doing the cheering alone. Give yourself a break; understand that you are doing the best you possibly can, and that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The good news will come. Not just in trickles but in crashing waves and life will make sense again. The hurt that overwhelmed you will no longer hold you in its power and the intensity of the pain will fade away.
Eventually, you will be fine. And when you get asked if you are okay, you will know in your heart that you really are. And you will understand just how strong and resilient you are because you survived a time when completely breaking down would have been totally understandable.
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Love,
Diane.
