A couple of weeks ago, I announced across my media pages that I was taking a short break from writing and pausing posts indefinitely on my site. The truth is when it felt like I was losing control of my sanity in the light of the craziness and tragedy going on around me; I had to toss my writing pen to a dark corner. I felt I needed a recharge.
Soon after, I realised I could either remain in the pity box I had constructed and locked myself into or fight through it. I chose the latter, slowly making my way back to pick up the pen again.
So, here I am, flawed as ever but determined to push through, one day at a time.
A lot has taken place in my tiny corner of the world, but one that has stuck to my head is an incident that happened a few weeks back. I am sharing this personal experience in the hope that others who have experienced something similar can understand that they aren’t alone.
As writers, we sometimes get freelance offers that come packaged in beautiful wrappings. But once in a while, you’ll find that as you try to excitedly unbox these packages, spikes embedded into the wrappings will leave your hands cut up and bruised. And some other times, you get offers that demand more time than you may be able to give. In both of these scenarios, I look for other writers who I trust are better suited to handle them. If that fails, I reject the job.
So, back to my story. I received a gig offer, explored the conditions expected, and almost immediately knew that I would not be able to meet up with the timeline the client presented. I reached out to some of my writer buddies who I knew could handle such complicated work, but no one was available, which meant I had to reject the job.
I explained to the blogger that I was rejecting it because I could not do a job I was sure would result in my work quality being questioned. Shockingly, I got a staggering stream of the worst insults that I have ever received in all my years as a writer. I froze in shock because I could not wrap my mind around the fact that a polite No had provoked such rude and insulting remarks.
My sister has always told me never to allow the negative opinions of people who do not have my best interests at heart to result in me questioning myself or my abilities. A friend with who I shared the experience also said something that I have never forgotten to this day. She said, and I quote her verbatim, “Never feel bad for saying No when something isn’t convenient for you.”
Why do I bring this up now, you may wonder? Well, it appears to hold not just in writing but in different aspects of our lives.
A lot of times, people guilt-trip us into overextending so much of ourselves until we have nothing left to give. Or perhaps take advantage of the kindness you extend so you can do even more when it isn’t convenient for you.
The point of this post is to simply let you know that it is perfectly okay to say “No” for your peace of mind. More importantly, to encourage us to never let the hurtful words of others take root in our hearts. I mean, if I had let hers sink in, if I had allowed the hooks of those odious remarks get a grip of me, then I may never have had the confidence to write again.
I’ll end this short post with the words of Charles F. Glassman, “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you…unless you believe them. Then, they can destroy you”.
Love,
Diane.
