I went shopping with my friend a few years ago. We wrote our lists before we set out, determined to haggle our ways to the least prices we could get for the items on those lists.
Just as we were about rounding up, we met this beautiful lady in front of her store, urging us to patronize her. I must confess that the first thing I noticed about her was her glowing skin and her beautiful face, bare of makeup. And I hurriedly stepped into her shop with my friend. Apparently, Peace had the same thoughts as I did because we both complimented her beauty almost at the same time.
She seemed shocked at the compliment and snorted, the kind that tells you they do not believe you for an instant. A few moments of further discussion with her revealed that she truly didn’t see the beauty we did, and it was not a play at false modesty. Despite our attempt to convince her otherwise, she never believed she was beautiful, even until we completed our purchases and left. And that made me sad.
She is not alone. A lot of us are utterly unconvinced that we are beautiful, despite the level of confidence we exude on the outside. Sometimes, it can be attributed to low self-esteem or years of negative and demeaning comments about you being heaped up until you start to believe those words and then absorb them into you.
The society we live in is one that emphasizes our imperfections much more than our strengths. And social media has made it easier for people to be casually cruel because it gives them an anonymous umbrella to hide under.
In response to this, we tend to give off an iron-clad hard-core vibe at first, but constantly seeing and listening to such barbed comments ultimately project into our subconscious and wear at that armour until little by little, we start to believe the lies. And then when someone compliments you, it feels like subtle mockery. Tragic.
Treat the negative comments thrown at you with a pinch of salt. I want you to understand that you are beautiful. You are really beautiful, and this cannot be emphasized enough. It is high time you felt confident, claim whatever scars or imperfections you possess, and don’t let anyone make you feel less because of them. Own it, and don’t let the world put a dent in the love and admiration you should have for the person staring back at you in the mirror.
Maybe you don’t have the curves of a Kardashian or the abs of a Zac Efron. Or perhaps you have visible, conspicuous “flaws” in your body that make you feel insecure. I could go on and on. Those imperfections are part of what makes you human. There is no perfect being.
We need to stand tall and walk straight. And understand just how amazing we are. Millions would give anything to be us. You are enough. Alessa Cara couldn’t have put it any better when she sang, “no better you than the “you” that you are.” Because there really isn’t.
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Love,
Diane.
